The search continues…

Online, dating? A new concept to meet, men or women, without the preamble of going out to a bar or some social event. Of course, there is the off chance that, you could be miss-lead. I, certainly, can speak of this. Being miss-lead that is. I have, on three occasions been miss-lead. Pictures, of the prospective “date,” taken when they were 10-20 years younger, just one small example. With men, being visceral beings, this often happens! And, this is what traps us into this subterfuge.

Let me tell you the harrowing experience I had with just one such “date.” It happened while I was still resident in Missouri, and I had planned to relocate back to Orlando, within a couple of months, after a marriage went sour. Someone mentioned, “Why not go online and place your bio there, and see what happens?” So, I thought why not!

Firstly, one is requested, there, to place your life on this online page so all, and sundry, can read about the person you think you are. Immediately there is a choice, truth, lie, or BS? Hmmmm… one has to decide which or maybe a little bit of them all. Who in their right mind will tell the truth, the truth, about themselves? Only, those that never expect an answer from anybody! Lie, well maybe a little white lie, but women being who they are have this right and left hemispheres in their brains and the damn things work together! Therefore, remembrance to them is not an issue in the slightest. So lying or telling a little white lie will be recalled until your dying day! (Moreover, ALWAYS, ALWAYS remembered at that delicate moment, during an argument or tiff, when you are being so defensive about something stupid you've done). Finally, we BS. This, always opts out as the one to go for, since, we embellish our lives, our accomplishments, our looks, our weight, and how important we are to life, the universe, and everything! We always try to give the best impression so that we may "catch" the attention of some one worthy of our mystic persona.

In my age group, women somehow seem to read my profile and, either do not answer, skip over, and move on to some other profile. You will often read a profile of prospective women, the their, match needs to be funny, have a sense of humor, make intellectual conversation, be established, make them laugh (always make them laugh), he needs to be athletic and toned and younger (by up to 12 years, I have seen!) than they are.

I, personally, have never ever met a male that has all of these prime qualities; athletic and toned; funny, communicative, and a humorist. He is either funny, or athletic, or toned, but not all at once! We are not that complex! So, I ask myself the question, are women actually looking for a relationship, a fling, a toy boy or someone to show off and say, “Look, what I found on e-bay!” The other, red light, that this person is “auctioneering” for a body is that they place more than 15 pictures of themselves in various poses; this automatically excuses me from the auction block!

So, I see this attractive picture, online, and write her. Well we wrote for days on end. Another aspect of this online dating is that this, “dating,” being as instant, as it is, one feels that you know this person even after a few days. By the time a week flew by, I felt I knew this person well enough to meet her. I have this very good friend living in Orlando and asked him to meet this person, you know, take her out for a cup of coffee. Get to speak with her and let me know what he thought of her. Let me tell you something, I will never, never, ever believe this “friend” of mine’s judgment again! But, I get ahead of myself. So, he meets her, and, on the phone, tells me she was nice to speak to, and that she was a “big” woman. What does this mean? “Big.”

We, this woman and I, arrange that I will fly down over Thanksgiving, and I will stay at her place. Thanksgiving arrives, and I fly down, and fetched at the airport by her. When I leaned down and looked into the window, of her car, the sight that beheld my eyes, not pretty! All sorts of curses went up in my mind, together with evil thoughts of what I was going to do to my “friend” the minute I saw him. But, being the nice person that I was, I said nothing and we proceeded to her house. She was certainly nice to talk to, by all means, but certainly not my type. This woman, most definitely, was NOT the person in the pictures I saw online. Also, I most definitely, can not be with a woman who’s thigh circumference was larger than my waist, and I’m, not a small guy! Actually, I could do to loose 20lbs or even more.

This, lead to the longest night of my life! I never slept a wink, and thought to myself all the time, “How the blazes do I get out of this?” I was up at 7:00 am and sitting in the lounge, dressed, and waiting for her to get up. When she, finally, did came through to the lounge she asked me, “What’s the matter?” My mind screamed out “you are enormous!” My mouth said, “I can’t do this, it’s too early after my relationship (with my wife) broke up.” “Is it me?” she says. “No! It’s me.” I said. Please take me to my friend’s house. Well, I thought that previous evening was the longest night of my life. Let me tell you the ride, to my friend’s home, was the longest 15 minutes I have ever spent on this dear earth! We said our goodbyes, and I knocked on the door of my, “never ever believe his judgment,” friend’s house. Lucky for him, his wife, answered and let me in. “I was expecting you,” is all she said.

What did I learn from this? In all actuality I find that we are all on the search for someone, something, some sort of elixir of youth to make us feel good about ourselves. We do not want to admit that we are getting older by the day. Our systems are shutting down and, we try, this last vestige point to gain some of the lost dreams we once had about growing old together, and then life came along and screwed us with the finger of fate. We all want this last moment to share with someone to love and go somewhere with and not be alone in this world. All in all in boils down to loneliness. We do not want to be alone.

The search continues…

Later…

Hendrik